kvmb Chapter 172 Outhouse Limit: 3 People
Chapter 172 Outhouse Limit: 3 People
Oh no, my stomach is starting to hurt too.
Shen Zhiyi clutched her stomach and, without any resistance, squatted down on the ground to slightly alleviate the pain.
[System, can your monitoring system show the inside of a human body? Am all my organs being eroded by toxins? I'm definitely going to die soon, waaaaah! Mom, Dad, and my stinky brother, I'll miss you. But don't worry, I'm dying with the old emperor! He was the most honored person in ancient times. For him to die with me is a blessing from our ancestors.]
The old emperor's already less-than-pleasant expression became even more unpleasant.
He was sweating profusely, and his stomach was throbbing.
Unexpectedly, after a lifetime of fighting, he finally suffered a setback here.
"Your Majesty!"
Despite his stomach pain, Chen Decai addressed the assembled officials and ministers, saying, "What are you all standing around for? Go and fetch the imperial physician!"
Everyone looked around.
Where is the imperial physician? Where is the imperial physician?
【Aaaaaaah, I can't take it anymore!】
Shen Zhiyi clutched her stomach and collapsed to the ground.
This startled everyone.
The old emperor reached out his hand...
[Host, this system believes you may need to walk 100 meters forward, turn right for 50 meters, then turn left for 100 meters to the end of the road. There, you can be cured without needing any imperial physician.]
[Waaaaah, System, I knew you wouldn't want me to die. I love you, dear System.]
The system's code quickly went haywire, clearly disgusted by Shen Zhiyi.
"Shen Zhiyi, don't be afraid, I..."
Before the old emperor could even touch Shen Zhiyi, she ran off in a certain direction at a speed that surprised everyone.
As he ran, he shouted, "I know how to save someone!"
As soon as she finished speaking, the officials who had stomach aches hurriedly followed her!
We've all worked our whole lives to climb to this position, we can't bear to die, who can bear to die!
So everyone rushed forward with all their might.
Even if the old emperor were there, they would pretend not to see it!
The old emperor was so angry that he started cursing.
“You guys!”
Forget about what's yours and mine, just follow Shen Zhiyi and charge forward.
This is a matter of life and death.
Shen Zhiyi led a large group of people, each with eyes filled with a desire to live.
[System, if we survive this time, I'll definitely have the old emperor build you a temple and enshrine you.]
The system watched this farcical scene unfold with a blank expression.
This is outrageous!
"It's here, it's here."
Shen Zhiyi looked at the few small houses in front of her; this was the place the system had said could cure them.
[Host, you can go in now.]
"Ok!"
Shen Zhiyi was stunned when she pushed open the door.
[This is... a latrine?]
[No, system, what do you mean? We're about to burst, why did you bring me to the outhouse?!]
[Of course it's diarrhea! What else could it be? You took laxatives, not poison!]
【Oh? It's a laxative.】
Shen Zhiyi awkwardly touched her nose.
After the system said that, haha, it really does feel like I need to have diarrhea.
Isn't it too intrusive of so many people outside to see me with diarrhea?
The expressions on the faces of the court officials outside, who were anxiously awaiting a solution, were quite interesting upon hearing that it was a laxative.
Upon hearing the words "diarrhea," the group looked at the remaining two outhouses and exchanged glances.
The atmosphere suddenly became tense.
As a leaf fell to the ground, everyone quickly took off to grab the remaining two pits.
If you can't use the latrine, you have to use the outside.
Be a civilized person if you can, never be a savage.
The captured abbot of Huguo Temple stared in disbelief at the scene before him, then collapsed to his knees, clutching his head.
"Impossible! I clearly used poison, how could it have turned into a laxative?"
He personally administered the medicine; there's absolutely no way he made a mistake.
But the current situation tells him that the medicine he administered was not poison at all, but a laxative.
[System, are you saying that the person outside originally used poison, but you modified its properties, turning it into a laxative?]
That's right, that's how it is.
The system's mechanical voice clearly carried a hint of smugness, obviously wanting Shen Zhiyi to praise him, but Shen Zhiyi didn't.
[Since you can change the drug's effects, why not just make it non-toxic? Why make it a laxative? Now look how embarrassing this is.]
The main problem is that it smells terrible.
The system was surprised that Shen Zhiyi's first words were this.
The mechanical voice instantly turned angry.
[It's just given you a bit of diarrhea; you're lucky it didn't kill you!]
Shen Zhiyi grinned mischievously.
I understand. Your abilities only go so far; you can't completely change things.
【Ughhhhh, host, I hate you!】
The system was so angry that it ignored Shen Zhiyi no matter how much she called out or apologized.
Helpless, Shen Zhiyi looked at the officials scrambling for the outhouse and scratched his head.
Where is the old emperor?
The officials who were holding back their anger were clearly taken aback.
Yes, His Majesty!
Shen Zhiyi turned on the surveillance camera, intending to find the old emperor.
But... the old emperor must have gone somewhere to poop. It would be too presumptuous of me to just look at the surveillance footage like this. Never mind.
Everyone: Don't even think about it! What if the old emperor doesn't find a good place to use the restroom? Those of us who have squeezed the old emperor out now will definitely have a hard time later.
Sigh, so many people have diarrhea, and there are only three stalls. How are the people at the back going to hold it in?
Ugh, I told you I couldn't hold it in, someone's peeing on their pants.
The crowd fell silent instantly, and everyone shook their heads in denial.
"It's you."
"It wasn't me, I didn't. I might have been holding it in. It was you, wasn't it?"
"It's not me anyway."
"Damn it, I can't go on anymore, I'm going to relieve myself in the woods, everyone."
As they spoke, someone rushed out of the crowd and into the woods. Once one person started, more people would follow.
Humans are, after all, herd animals.
[In the end, he still compromised and became a savage, hahaha.]
This day was a special day for Huguo Temple.
It was a day worth recording in unofficial history.
The once-powerful Huguo Temple, now lacks its abbot and head monk, its three outhouses have become incredibly popular, and finally, the entire forest reeks of excrement.
"vomit."
Shen Zhiyi inserted something into both nostrils to block the continuous odor.
[No, where is the old emperor?]
As a court attendant, she can no longer even find the subject of her writings.
This was a dereliction of duty on her part.
[Hooray, I found it! I found it!]