kvmb Chapter 409 The Abyss of Memories and Despair
Chapter 409 The Abyss of Memories and Despair
Lu Jingchen sat in the room for a long time, so long that he felt as if he had merged with the room and became a part of this dead space. His thoughts were like a wild horse that had broken free from its reins, galloping recklessly in every moment since he met Jiang Ciyou.
It was a bar filled with ambiguous lights and lazy music. Lu Jingchen was sitting alone in a corner, shrouded in an inexplicable sense of loneliness. The people around him were either laughing or whispering, but he was like an island forgotten by the world. At this moment, Jiang Ciyou walked into his sight like a fairy. She was wearing a simple but elegant white dress, her hair casually draped over her shoulders, her eyes revealed a faint sadness, but also a unique stubbornness. At that moment, Lu Jingchen felt that his world was instantly lit up, and Jiang Ciyou was like a strong and warm light shining into his originally dark life.
From then on, his world was filled with Jiang Ciyou's shadow. He began to pay attention to her every preference and every subtle change in her expression. He remembered that she liked to add a spoonful and a half of sugar to her coffee, read philosophical books in the afternoon sun, and listen to soft classical music while walking on the beach. For her, he began to work hard to change himself. He, who used to be a bit lax and only knew how to have fun, began to become self-disciplined.
He got up early every day to run and exercise his body, just to have enough strength when Jiang Ciyou needed protection. He began to learn all kinds of knowledge, from business knowledge to culture and art, just to have more topics to talk about with Jiang Ciyou and to be able to move forward side by side with her. He worked hard to learn cooking, and after countless failures, he finally learned to cook the dishes that Jiang Ciyou loved the most. He felt that as long as he could be with Jiang Ciyou, all the efforts were worth it.
Every minute and every second of the time they spent together was like the most precious gem in his heart. While on vacation at the beach, he carefully planned a surprise. He started preparing several weeks in advance and contacted local fishermen to help them set up a romantic seaside dinner scene. When the afterglow of the setting sun sprinkled on the sparkling sea, he brought Jiang Ciyou to the carefully decorated place. The table was filled with her favorite food, surrounded by blooming flowers, and her name spelled out with shells. When Jiang Ciyou saw all this, tears of surprise and emotion flashed in her eyes. At that moment, Lu Jingchen felt that he was the happiest person in the world.
In high-end restaurants, he would always reserve a table in advance to ensure that they could have a quiet and romantic dining environment. He would gently cut steak for her, and every move was full of love. He would watch her satisfied expression when she tasted the food, and then his heart would be filled with joy. They would also share each other's dreams and thoughts under candlelight. Those warm scenes have now become sharp arrows that pierce his heart.
But now, all these beautiful memories are like bubbles, which vanished at the moment Jiang Ciyou left. He felt that his life had lost its meaning, like a ship that had lost its direction in the vast ocean, and could only drift in endless darkness and despair. He didn't know where to go, and the future became blurred in his eyes.
He once thought that he and Jiang Ciyou could live happily like this forever. They could travel to every corner of the world together and experience the joys and sorrows of life together. He imagined that they would have a warm home filled with their laughter and their vision for the future. But now, all of this has become an unattainable dream.
He began to fall into deep self-doubt. He couldn't understand why he had given so much but still couldn't keep Jiang Ciyou's heart. Was it because he hadn't done well enough? Or was he simply not worthy of such happiness? His heart was tormented by these painful thoughts, and every doubt was like a sharp knife, constantly cutting his already broken heart.
He raised his head and looked at the ceiling of the room, as if he wanted to find the answer from the lifeless white. However, he could not see anything except a blank. His world had collapsed, leaving only a ruin. The love that he once regarded as his life was ruthlessly abandoned by Jiang Ciyou. He felt like a clown teased by fate, and he lost miserably in this game of love.
He tried to cheer himself up and find a way to get rid of this pain. However, no matter how hard he tried, Jiang Ciyou's figure always lingered in his mind. He knew that he had fallen into an abyss from which he could not extricate himself. This abyss was full of despair and helplessness, and he could not find any rope to climb out.
His body seemed to have lost its support, and he leaned weakly on the chair. His eyes were empty and lifeless, like a body without a soul. He felt that his life had stopped functioning, and only an empty body was left, existing alone in this world without Jiang Ciyou.
He thought of a movie they had watched together, in which the male protagonist also experienced a similar love tragedy. At that time, they also discussed what they would do if it were them. At that time, they could never have imagined that one day they would fall into such a desperate situation. He suddenly felt that fate was so ironic that it always dealt the heaviest blow to people when they were happiest.
Lu Jingchen's hands unconsciously clenched, his nails dug deep into his palms, but he didn't feel any pain. Because the pain in his heart far exceeded any physical feeling. His lips trembled slightly, as if he wanted to say something, but he didn't know where to start. His throat seemed to be choked by something, and he couldn't make any sound. Only endless sorrow echoed in his heart.
Their past conversations kept flashing through his mind. Those sweet words, those promises for the future, have now become the cruelest mockery. He remembered that once, Jiang Ciyou said to him: "Jingchen, you are the most beautiful accident in my life." How happy and satisfied he was at that time. But now, this "most beautiful accident" has become the source of his greatest pain.
He began to recall every smile and every look of Jiang Ciyou. Those moments that once moved his heart were now like poison corroding his soul. He wanted to forget it all, to completely erase these memories from his mind, but he found that he couldn't do it at all. These memories were like marks engraved deep in his soul, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't erase them.
His breathing became rapid and heavy, as if the air in the whole room had become thinner. He felt like he was about to suffocate, and the pain of not being able to breathe made him feel more deeply the despair of losing Jiang Ciyou. His eyes were full of bloodshot, and tears were rolling in his eye sockets, but he stubbornly refused to let them fall. He didn't want to show his vulnerability at this time, even though he knew that no one would see his tears in this empty room.
He thought of the holidays they had spent together. On Valentine's Day, he prepared a large bouquet of red roses for Jiang Ciyou, each rose was beautiful and charming, symbolizing his passionate love for her. When Jiang Ciyou took the bouquet, the happy smile seemed to still be in front of him. At Christmas, they decorated the Christmas tree together, hanging up the colorful lights and exquisite trinkets. They exchanged gifts under the Christmas tree, and the warmth and sweetness still lingered in his heart. But now, these beautiful memories have become wounds in his heart that cannot be healed, and every time he recalls them, his pain deepens.
He didn't know how long he sat like this. Time seemed to have lost its meaning in his pain. He only knew that his world had completely changed and could never go back to the way it was before. His life, which was once full of hope and vitality, was now only filled with darkness and despair. He didn't know how he should face this world without Jiang Ciyou, and he didn't know if he could find the meaning of life again.
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